


Shift in the light

by pr_scatterbrain



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Early Days, Genderswap, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-28 15:36:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8451955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pr_scatterbrain/pseuds/pr_scatterbrain
Summary: There is another soulmark bandage on Sidney, this time on her jaw. Evgeni sees the black and gold of the Penguins Kinesiology tape in the corner of his eye, but he tries not to look. It’s a haphazard effort and clearly something put on moments before she took the ice.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dragons_and_angels](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragons_and_angels/gifts).



> To dragons_and_angels - I hope you enjoy this <3<3<3

 

 

 _I just wanted to know her_ \- Albert Hammond Jr speaking about Agyness Deyn.

 

  

There is another bandage on Sidney. Evgeni sees the black and gold of the Penguins Kinesiology tape in the corner of his eye, but he tries not to look. It’s a haphazard effort and clearly something put on moments before she took the ice after Evgeni. There are more than a few camera flashes as she skates over to the nets to talk to Flower. Sidney doesn’t seem to notice. She never does. However Evgeni is pretty certain that she always does.

It’s only been a little over a month since Evgeni arrived in Pittsburgh. In that time he has picked up a little English but not nearly enough to do anything other than fumble when he tries to use it. He tried a few times to use it with Sidney, but without any success. Gonch hadn’t helped. Mostly he tells Evgeni to stay out of her way.

“She doesn’t need you underfoot,” Gonch says when Evgeni asks him to translate for him.

Evgeni bristles. He heard all about her back home – everyone had. And now they are teammates. He thinks they could be friends.

Gonch isn’t been swayed by that or any of Evgeni’s other arguments. Though both Gonch and Sidney both have A’s on their jerseys, he treats Sidney as if she wears a C. Maybe she will one day. Or maybe he might. Evgeni doesn’t know. The position is still vacant after Mario Lemieux’s retirement.

This time last year, Evgeni woke with a K on his chest. It was black and felt like it had always been there. It was gone by the following day. This year he is yet to find a soul mark on his skin, but it’s only a matter of time. Evgeni is predictable. Both he and his brother are All Saints souls. Or Halloween souls, as American’s call them. Evgeni mostly thinks he was made for hockey. For as long as he could remember, the start of the new hockey season has always been accompanied by his mark appearing.

Sidney’s marks are less predictable. Most people’s marks appear only once a year, if they are lucky. Hers come and go in no particular fashion. Most of them she hides with sweaters and her under armour. The tape on her jaw is impossible to conceal. By the time the puck is dropped, the New Jersey Devils have all noticed it. It doesn’t take long for someone to say something about it. Evgeni can’t understand most of the things spat at Sidney on the ice, but one word Evgeni does understand is ‘Reebok.’

Sidney’s icy façade slips momentarily. In that moment Evgeni sees something furious and something ugly. It’s gone quickly, as is Sidney with the puck. The Devil’s scramble after her and so do the rest of Sidney’s line. Evgeni is part of it for the first time. He knows it is a test as much as an experiment. During her rookie season, Sidney made and broke more records than Evgeni can count on two hands. By the time the Penguins limped to the end of the regular season, she'd been proclaimed the second saviour of the franchise. Pittsburgh loves her. Mario Lemieux has named her as the future of the game. In contrast Evgeni is a year late to his rookie NHL season but he refuses to let it show.  

Putting on a burst of speed Evgeni tries to catch up with her, but it isn’t quite enough. Mostly because he isn't quite quick enough. Easily the fastest skater on the ice, if given the opportunity Sidney will skate circles around her opposition. Sometimes if not given the opportunity, she takes it anyway.

The Penguins take the game too.

Mirroring each other with one goal apiece and an assist on each other’s goals, Sidney and Evgeni both earn stars.

Afterwards Evgeni answers questions from the press through his interpreter. Sitting in his stall, he tries to focus on journalists one at a time. He’s been told to work on eye contact, but it’s trickier than he thought it would be. At home, it was something he didn’t think twice about. Here? He hasn’t quite figured out how to communicate to journalists through his interpreter without it seeming stilted or awkwardly delayed. It’s easier when it’s Gonch, but he’s busy being interviewed himself

It’s all rote and tedium for the most part. However part way through the allotted media time, there is a flutter of sound and moment on the other side of the room. Within an instant Penguins PR people materialise and Sidney is done for the night. Chaperoned out of the locker room with Flower, they disappear presumably to the showers or to a backroom to be debriefed in private. 

Evgeni sees them again at the bar afterwards, when the Penguins get together to celebrate. The team isn’t used to celebrating wins, but Evgeni thinks they soon will be. He and Jordy drink shots by the bar and are pleasantly buzzed by the time Flower shows up. Leading Sidney through the crowd, Flower is all colt-like limbs and smiles without edges.

She’s the only one who Sidney doesn’t flinch from.

Though Flower is new to the team, she and Sidney act like they are old friends. Wherever they go, they go as a pair.

“I wanted to be a goalie when I was a kid,” Sidney tells the table part way through the night.

Evgeni understands the words when they are translated to him, but he isn’t sure he can imagine it.

“Goalie? No,” he manages to joke. “Maybe winger.”

The guys laugh. Sidney sort of smiles. It’s hard to tell and easy to miss. There is a bruise on her face from a check into the boards. It’s a shadow now, but Evgeni knows it will be dark blue and green by the morning.

He buys her a bottle of mineral water the next time he goes to the bar. Or he gets Ryan to order the next round of drinks and Evgeni pays for it, handing his credit card over without looking. He practiced that at home. So much might be new to him, but not that. At least, not that new to him. It is for some of the other players his age. Sidney doesn’t seem to have spent a cent of her contract. She carpools to the arena with Flower in Mario’s car, and lives under his roof. Some of the guys joke that she babysits on the weekends – it probably isn’t a joke.

Tonight Gonch drives them home at around a quarter to eleven.

Maybe Evgeni would usually complain about his night being cut short, but he doesn’t. It’s not like he couldn’t have stayed and gotten a lift back to the Gonchar’s home with one of the other guys. But he doesn’t. While waiting for Gonch to talk to the valet, Evgeni stands with Sidney and Flower just inside the bars back exit. It’s an awkward, small space. Evgeni tries to make himself smaller as the bartenders and wait-staff bustle past them. He doesn’t do a particularly good job. Sidney does. She folds herself away from people on a daily basis.

The edge of the tape on Sidney’s jaw is peeling a little.

Evgeni tries not to look. Enough people have looked at the pictures leaked from her infamous Reebok shoot. 

Marks are meant to be private. Most of them don’t make sense to anyone, not even the person they appear on – at least not until they meet their soulmate. The leaked photographs were taken while she was getting changed. The black of her bra strap and the black of her marks starkly stood out against the paleness of her skin. Among others, there was a number on her shoulder blade. It was partly hidden by the dark sweep of her hair, but sometimes Evgeni thinks maybe it could have been a seven. Though he wouldn’t dare say that to anyone, ever. He shouldn’t have even looked at the photographs.

It’s gone now. They all have faded since then and other ones have taken their place.

He’s had numbers on his skin. This time a few years ago, he woke up with English words on his skin. Even when translated they made no sense; ‘five on three’. Or it makes hockey sense. But marks are bigger than hockey. Evgeni’s mother always says that.

Sidney’s phone buzzes with a text. So does Evgeni’s; Gonch has his car and he’s waiting for them. There is press out the front of the club, but the back is clear. Sidney wraps her coat tightly around her body nevertheless. As she does, she dislodges Flower who had been leaning against her.

“Come on,” Sidney says.

Some of Flowers lipstick has worn away, but she is steady on her feet when they are outside. Evgeni stays close just in case. He stays close to both of them, if he’s honest. It hadn’t taken Evgeni long to understand the caution Gonch has when it comes to Sidney and Flower. The press – people in general – are fixated on them. It's sweet when girl guides turn up to open practice en masse, but it isn't always like that.  

Reaching for the backseat door at the same time, Evgeni and Sidney’s hand’s collide. Just as suddenly as they do, Sidney pulls away leaving Evgeni to awkwardly open the door handle.

Evgeni tries to apologise, but he doesn’t have the right words. He thinks he says her name, stumbling over the syllables. She stops him before he can get to far.

“Ok Geno,” Sidney tells him.

Without looking at him, she bundles Flower inside and follows. Closing the door after them, she leaves Evgeni to take the passenger’s seat. Feeling a beat behind, Evgeni is the last in the car and he’s clicking his seatbelt on as Gonch leans over and checks in with them. His tone of voice isn’t much different than it is usually. Maybe it’s a note softer than it would be at practice, but it’s hard to tell.

It isn’t that late. The streets are relatively busy.

By the time Gonch pulls into the Lemieux’s neighbourhood, Flower is asleep. With her head on Sidney’s shoulder and her hands bunching up in the fabric of Sidney’s coat, Flower looks so young. So does Sidney. Evgeni glances at them via the visor mirror. For a moment Sidney catches his eye. Her eyes are very dark and he breaks her gaze first. For all the looks he steals of her, there is something about the way that she looks at him that he can't describe. 

“Home,” Gonch comments as he drives up the Lemieux’s driveway.

“Home,” Flower echoes, half asleep and soft.

The lights are left on for her and Sidney, and Evgeni thinks he sees movement through the windows. Maybe Mario, maybe Nathalie. Maybe one of the kids up after their bedtime. Evgeni wouldn’t be surprised. All of the Lemieux children adore Sidney and have quickly taken to Flower. Something deep inside Evgeni’s chest twists a little. People find families sometimes, rather than being born into them. He thinks he’s found one too.

Later, after Gonch and Evgeni have watched Sidney and Flower go into the Lemieux home and lock the front door behind them, and after they have driven back to Gonch’s home, Evgeni finds himself flexing his hand as they waits for Gonch’s electric gates to fold open to let his car in. The phantom feeling of Sidney’s touch stays with him. It’s one of the few times they’ve touched off the ice and without layers of thick pads.

Straightening out his fingers, Evgeni’s heart skitters to a stop when he realises what he’s seeing under the street lights.

87.

The numbers stretch over his hands and finish on the thin skin of his wrist.

As quickly as his heart stops, it starts again.

When he gets out of the car, he makes sure to tuck his hands into his pockets. _Like Sidney does,_ a voice inside Evgeni’s head whispers. Evgeni tries not to listen. He tries not thinks about the way Sidney holds herself either. Or the way she is so determined, or the way she is always wearing one mark or another and how the press punish her for it, like they are waiting for her to fail.

The number might not have anything to do with her – despite the steady beat of his heart, he can’t know for sure. No one can.

None of his other marks ever made sense before. Or perhaps that is a lie. Another one. Because he wanted them to make sense. He looked for them to make sense – and he looked at Sidney’s marks. Thousands of miles away from her, after signing a contract he didn’t want, Evgeni had looked at the leaked photographs along with everyone else. He had stared at the glossy tabloid images and he had wanted everything she had and her too. He was always greedy.

Maybe Gonch was right to warn him from getting in Sidney’s way.

Gonch usually is right when it comes to Evgeni.

In his room, Evgeni looks at the graceful swoops of the eight and the sure line of the seven. Inside his chest, his hearts is beating to a rhythm he isn’t sure it has before and all he knows is he can’t be greedy now. He can't. Not with Sidney. And so he showers and gets changed. Tomorrow the mark will be gone. Like all the others. Just like clockwork. However that will be ok. He will remember it. He already knows the shape of it by heart, and one day, he will tell Sidney. And maybe one day she will tell him if there was a one next to the seven. 

They are both young.

There will be other new seasons and other new marks. 

Evgeni's knows this and he thinks maybe Sidney knew it long before him.  

 

  

 

  _There is no Monday which will not give its place to Tuesday_ \- Anton Chekhov.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> The title is taken from Richard Siken's poem “Portrait of Fryderyk in Shifting Light,” War of the Foxes (Copper Canyon Press, 2015):
> 
> _What can you know about a person? They shift in the light. You can’t light up all sides at once._
> 
> Find/follow me on [tumblr](http://www.pr-scatterbrain.tumblr.com) if you want <3


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